1.  things i miss:

taking out our contact lenses side by side at the bathroom sink
watching you towel dry under bright lights 
as i stayed under the water
       and soaked up the warmth
driving and talking with
     my hand on your thigh
(and when it wasn’t there and you reached over 
     to put it right)
your hair under my fingers
     you smiled a rare smile
     when you laughed uncontrollably
     and your face looked funny
all the times
you were so hard on me
and so honest 
when i needed it the most

2.  things i want you to know:

i undertand what it was like
     to be with me;
i know myself from the outside in
i know my shortcomings
i know my excess of contact
i know my excess of wanting and loving
     (if there is such a thing)
and i know
you loved me
     even if i don’t understand how

and i know
you don’t see yourself the way i see you;
you think i’m foolish
you think me a child
you think these glasses sit rosy on my nose always

but don’t forget
i know your other side, too;
your weapons and defences
your coldness and your darkness
and i saw you when you were weak
and i saw you puke
and i still love you
and i always will

3.  things i wish i knew:

how you feel
when you think of me now

and just

how your day is going


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This blog is the collection of my poetry and prose, in chronological order from most recent to oldest.

Constructive critique is actively encouraged!

I am usually singing words as well as writing them, and make lots of other art. You can find me & my other art at any of the below links. x





All content on this blog © Rebecca Tilley, 2003-present

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